Away From Home

Dr. H, my professor, shared his story as a student being away from home. In this University, everyone seems to think that being homesick is not too great deal of a problem. Of course they don't! Almost all, if not all, can get home whenever they want. The elite or "rich kids" in this University are visited by their parents over the weekend by flying in a chopper. Yes, a chopper! The not so elite go home once or twice in a month by flying back home. My classmate does that. And almost everybody gets to see their parents during the family weekend visits or at midsemestral breaks. But not for me. I only get to see my family at the end of the semester. I am still lucky, says my professor. He got to see his family after the schoolyear. His other classmate got to see his family only after they graduated. Being away from home may be taken for granted by others because they don't think getting homesick affects your student life. But it does. Sometimes it just makes you want to quit school and go home. But being away from home is a reality, as Dr. H says, you either deal with it or it will deal with you.

Food Shortage

It's Monday. I don't have a class so my classmates and I won't have our daily lunch together.It's almost the end of the month. My stipend has not arrived yet. I have no money to buy food. I have no food to cook in the freezer. I am hungry. I have no food to eat... but I am not fazed. This has been happening to me since my first year. Yet I trust in God that God will provide for me. If God provides for those little birds, how much more for us humans created in God's image. The Int'l Fellowship offers free lunch, as long as you sign up for their Bible studies. In the afternoon, there is free vegetarian dinner, as long as you are willing to listen about Krishna. There is free food everywhere. Sometimes, extra foods from conferences and meetings find their way in the student kitchen. I just need to stand by there as free food always disappears within minutes. It may sound pitiful for a seminary student to be in food shortage. But I guess, it's just part of the training of a clergy-to-be... after all, the same problem of food shortage will happen when I become a clergy.

Papers

I got my first paper back. My grade wasn't what I expected. It was not an A but I wasn't even expecting an A. I think my preceptor is too harsh or too strict. I hope so. I hope it has nothing to do with me being an Asian. My other Asian friend got a grade below B. So you can't blame me if I think discrimination may play a part. I just had this bad experience last semester, so don't blame me. So, I hope not since we are also in seminary. We are supposed to be a loving and all-inclusive community. I asked my other group mate who was white and I would say one of the brightest in the class. He also did not get an A. So I just hope that this is a case of the "first paper scare," where preceptors would give low grades to encourage students to write better and aim for excellence in their writing. However, there is that sense that the preceptor may be power playing us. You always get the feeling that this doctoral students want to assert their superiority over us masteral students. But since my preceptor is a graduating doctoral student and is not even in divinity school, I can always give my preceptor the benefit of a doubt. Besides, my preceptor is one of the most promising student in my "preceptors" field of interest. Although my preceptor's critic in my paper was excellent, I could always argue that I could have received a higher grade. Ha! Who says seminary is not stressful?

Second Year

I am on my second year in seminary. I am still alone and away from my family. What does it take for me to follow God's will? Do I really need to suffer this much? No one knows in the secular world how difficult it is for seminarians to be away from home to study. They think going to seminary is just like going to school. It needs sacrifice. It may mean you have to cut worktime and yet spend more. It may mean you have to quit a job and shift carrers. It may mean to be away from your family. For me, I have to suffer all three. And I am in my second year of such experiences. Only God knows my suferring. And God keeps me and sustains me.